Words by Michelle Graves

For all time I will go to this place where every time it is slightly different according to the experience I had just before. This time I have compared the galaxies to a womb, carrying the universe of a person. The constellations pointing to another's eyes. A burning meteor into the heart of a person like an arrow piercing a hole that doesn't exist. Like stars mapping out a body in directions of blood flow and pose. A single star in the mouth of a person speaking honestly.
this time the change happened and i acknowledged approved wanted needed it to cross the line i always draw...why is it tedering to the proximity of gravity on either side.   is it close enough to peak with my eyes shut while i let go of my center of gravity and see if the balance is equal.   the doubt is ever present so why do i forget. i've remembered the breath...but not the reason.
from the place that i breathe i feel a staleness that is familiar. the need to change is near. it's beginning to choke everyone. no one is breathing right anymore. it's as if we all forgot how to smell and the odor is too strong to even breathe. there is a freshness about you though when i breathe you in, i feel a tingle that renews my thoughts. and then i forget the uncomfortableness i used to feel. you're not going to last forever. i have to leave it is time to go. along with my breath that i will share with others.
the things that go around in my head sometimes gets slowed or not even slowed...more like altered in a way that the direction rotates and goes underwater where no directions exist and there is movement but it's ineffective. when i surface again it makes the sensitive atmosphere inevitable and i know that. my flotation device works only when i am calm. then i can saturate the sponge with the water that's a little more clear than before.
Some of these things wind through the trains in my mind on a track of infinity. There have been pennies on the track to catch and keep. They remind me of memories to hard to hold on to. Lost along the way and understood when passed again. Only until now I've gathered enough to be able to see without directions and understand that there weren't ever any when I was off the track...just figments that kept me going.
The pieces that come together almost make sense so much that it drives me crazy. The closeness of the track and the pixels identical in the mirror...I can see it but what do I do? It is a matter of doing and not thinking...an infinite amount of times this experience has been had. I recognize it, acknowledge it, know it, breathe it, am it. Is it when I step out of the cloud that the next cloud comes and the experience moved on? The next step is to remember and let go at the same time. Allow other things to happen and to accept it. Recognize and be them both.
in the end of an extended period of time where everything is swallowed with no atom lost...the extremity of the peak...the terminal point. that pixel of a moment is the connection that continues the train of thought in infinite directions. the pixel or line of pixels or lines in planes or matter in space. it is all a moment of time.
BEEP goes the robot of unconscious words that come out unwillingly.   I want there to be a certainty again.   A confidence that is there when I don't care.   The confidence that I am who I am and if you don't like it then fuck off...it's too easy to be that way. I do care this time.   I want to be selfless and give anything that is needed.   Take care of a being that is my equal...that would take care of me too.   The equality is what I have always wanted but never really have had.   Not the same experiences but an equal amount of experiences where I can share and learn at the same time.   It would be an empowerment on both sides of the window that opens little by little over time.   The window is the the most fragile part.   It's the invisible space inbetween. The space inbetween sometimes is too much and that's when the window is initially cracked open to feel the atmosphere of the other.   I have always slammed my window shut when I get bored of explaining this crazy self I am in.   But this time it was broken unintentionally and I'm running out of glue.   My atmosphere was saturated with another so much that it was too thick to see clearly.   And now that things are beginning to thin...I know that I lost some of what I had...I gave it away before shit was broken. But I already knew that you can never go back to the way you once were and that is through the experience.